Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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