I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
