Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dignity is for republicans.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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