i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
