Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
