I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
