so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
