I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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