she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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