i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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