He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
