I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
