C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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