shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just want to make out with him forever
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
