Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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