Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
