Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
