so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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