Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
