I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
do herpes really smell.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
