If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
