Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
