If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
