Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
