Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
