he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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