Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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