In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
