i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Green mimosas i think yes
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
