dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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