i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
