He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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