im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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