You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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