she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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