We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
