Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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