What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
