do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
