it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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