yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
