I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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