trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I could make wine with my vomit
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
