Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
