Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
soo... how was my night?
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