You work out of a Hotel?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
