omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
