some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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