wat bout pragnant strippers??
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
