You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
