i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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