all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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