i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
